at bay - preliminary task 2 rough edit

 

teachers fedback:

• Timing for establishing / opening shots could be longer. Timing a crucial part of setting the tone for your scene. Drag it out a bit, it will match with the music better, too
• Would you potentially keep the crickets / background noise over all the beginning shots? Maybe another sound underneath it too, a single note being held to point to something coming?
• Sound level for talking bits – turn voice up a bit, it’s a bit soft compared to the music
• Sound – maybe a very low stringed instrument to accompany the POV of the stalker outside, when we see through the windows as ‘him’, a change in tone would be good to intensify what we see
• Again when we actually see him, a sound effect to amplify the threat would be good
• I would make the lights turning off a bigger deal – again, maybe some sort of sound effect there that goes with the symbolism of her stepping into darkness / foreshadowing the darkness that is about to enter her house etc
• Music could be added earlier with hubby’s driving of the car
• Key moments like the hubby noticing door ajar, cracked cup, open window – show how serious / important those are with adding sound to match the rising intensity level of the hubby
• What about intensifying the moment the hubby picks up the phone, almost signifying time standing still, by making that slow motion with some cool sound effects?
• Great end effect!

what I will be changing:

turn actors voice up

change the shot of actor with phone to him with knife 

spread crickets onto next establishing shot

more dramatic music when actor turns light off

beat when you see the stalker

find a different ringtone

more dramatic music towards the end of film

slow down establishing shots

maybe quick cuts

crickets over outside shots